Continual Adjustments, Long Term Resilience
By AV Board member Diane Wong
As I approach my 6th decade, I find myself losing significant parts of my identity. Playing basketball, running and undertaking any physical activity without a thought or hesitancy was my norm. But now with the parts wearing out from 45 years of hoops and physical punishment, I am having to re-evaluate who I am, what I am doing, where I am going. A recent empty-nester, not partnered, more intensely caregiving for my parents, and supporting friends in difficult life transitions force me to take stock of what is ahead.
So, I can ruminate about all that has changed, what I have lost and what is unknown, but I remind myself that we have all been down this road before in various periods of our lives. We found our way when we moved out from under our parents’ roofs, to learn, to find meaning and work, and to connect with others. We had to enter this unknown territory before – whether it be to raise children, to learn how to be a good friend or partner, to improve our community, and generally how to thrive at different phases of our life.
I recently had to take a few days to be in nature, to think, to be quiet and importantly, to let go. Let go of things that used to work for me and to make a promise to not stay still but to move forward even if I didn’t have all the answers or a solid plan. These continual tweaks that we make throughout our life help us adjust and to create and take opportunities rather than dwell on ‘what was’. So here I go, building up my resilience, accepting change and figuring out what might replace the many things I have loved. It will be by trial and error, but what other way is there?
Diane Wong has been a board member of Ashby Village since 2021 but has closely followed the development and growth of the organization since its inception. She has worked in the field of senior services for over 45 years, was the founding executive director of Alzheimer’s Services of the East Bay, consulted with nonprofits in strategic planning, program development, and executive searches and is currently the executive director of J-Sei, a senior service and cultural organization serving the Japanese American community.