Dealing With Racism Early
Being the first-born of four sisters jump-started a life filled to date with responsibility, compassion, caregiving and service. When I was born, my parents were teenagers and my father had just graduated from McClymonds High School in Oakland. I found myself in the role of third parent to the younger girls. Segregation was a factor in the Oakland Schools system while I was growing up and racism was everywhere. When I won a student lottery in 1964, I was able to take an early-morning AC-Transit bus up to Skyline, where my parents thought I had a better chance of being prepared for college. It wasn’t easy. In French class, for example, the teacher thought nothing of making jokes about black people.
After graduating from Skyline in 1968, I enrolled at CSU-Hayward where I became involved in the Black student union and Vietnam War protests. I participated in campus marches and demonstrations. After graduating a B.A. in psychology, I was primarily involved in the mental health field, first as a live-in counselor at a psychiatric halfway house and then as the executive director of Bonita House in Berkeley, where we launched innovative vocational rehabilitation projects like training residents in restaurant management.
I got my Masters in Social Work at San Francisco State University, attending evening classes for three years. My three decades of work in the aging field began with Bay Area Community Services (BACS) in Oakland, then more than 10 years as Program Director with the City of Oakland, Department of Human Services and almost another decade as Division Manager for Aging and Adult Services. After I retired in 2011, I continued working with the City’s Summer Jobs Youth Program and was on call when people in the community needed her expertise.
Coming Out
At age 40, I realized that all of my friends were lesbians and that I felt complete in my skin as a lesbian. In the course of finding alternatives to the bars and discos, I began attending an African-American 40-plus group, its potlucks and other social events. Then I met Nancy, who became my soulmate, then my significant other, my domestic partner and finally, in 2008, my wife. We were married at City Hall by then-Mayor Ron Dellums and Congresswoman Barbara Lee! That was more than 30 years ago.
I never stopped being involved in political activities, beginning with my interest in dealing with mental health, homelessness and LGBTQ issues in the community. First came the East Bay Lesbian and Gay Democratic Club, where I served as treasurer, secretary, vice-president and president of the club for six years. During my 23 years of involvement with the club – which became East Bay’s Stonewall Democratic Club – we doubled the membership and diversified it to better represent our community, and started the tradition of hosting the annual Oakland Pride Breakfast. I currently serve on the California Commission on Aging.
I ran for and was elected to the Alameda County Democratic Central Committee, a decision based on a lifetime of observing and experiencing inequities in our community. I believe it is now more important than ever that we continue the fight. We need to promote equality in healthcare services, affordable housing, immigrant and transgender rights, work-place equity and fighting racism within and outside of our own communities to address critical needs of our LGBTQ elders and youth.
I have some other things on my wish list, including learning to play the cello. I played the flute in the band and orchestra in high school. It was one way of forgetting about the racism that surrounded me. Music has always been therapeutic and calming for me. And we will continue traveling. I’m ready to roll up my sleeves and get to work for Ashby Village.
You can read more about some of this in the May 2020 issue of Lavender Notes, and read about my concerns related to Alzheimer’s and Black LGBTQ elders.